Summer Spaghetti Salad ~ Dana

What a weird summer we are having, right? I talked to Aunt Candy who lives in Ohio this morning, and she said that it has been in the 50s at night, and the mornings smell like fall. And here in Southern California, it’s 4:00 in the afternoon and my air conditioner hasn’t kicked on all day. I don’t know if you know what that means… but mid-July and no air conditioner might just mean the second coming. Of course, the two summers that I was pregnant, mid-July brought temps of 105 and higher. Of course.

But summer, hot or cold, means family get-togethers and days at the beach. And in my family, a get-together is incomplete without this lovely spaghetti salad. It has been that way since the beginning of time, and it is something that I will pass on for generations to come. Seems a bit dramatic for pasta salad? Well. You haven’t tasted this one.

It’s a great way to use up the bounty of produce from the garden, if you have one. I’m in the beginning stages of revamping mine. I need all new planter boxes and a new watering system. But I digress. The original recipe calls for spaghetti, but a few years ago, my cousin Dawn Marie mixed it up by using Rotini… easier for the little kids to eat, and the seasoning blend gets lusciously trapped in the curves. I’m in.

So here you go. My mom’s Aunt Arleen introduced it to the family, somewhere in the 1950s, I’m sure. Be sure and mix it up the night before to allow the seasonings to really sink into the pasta. Enjoy your summer!

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My bebes. Image by Cean One Studios, San Diego, CA

Spaghetti Salad

1 lb spaghetti (or any shape of pasta, really)
1 bottle Shilling Salad Supreme (found in the spice aisle)
¼ cup red wine vinegar
½ cup vegetable oil
1 red onion
1 medium to large cucumber
2 tomatoes
2 green bell peppers (you could probably switch out pepper colors, too, but there’s already a lot of red and orange, so I like the contrast of the green here)

Cook pasta, drain and cool. Add vinegar and oil. Add Salad Supreme and stir in. Add remaining ingredients. Toss and let stand all night, to let the seasonings melt into the liquid. Salt and pepper to taste before serving.

Buying and Selling

When Shea and I bought our current house, it was at the height of the real estate market in So Cal. We did what so many other folks did—we toured the Inland Empire on Saturdays, looking at models of homes still to be built. We entered our names into lotteries and huddled with hundreds of other people at 7 am, waiting to hear our number called. When it was, we had ten minutes to pick a lot with a model on it.

The price was predetermined, as was the layout. No negotiating. We didn’t need a realtor. Once we got the house, the rest was easy.

I’m telling you all this so you understand that I. Didn’t. Know.

I have not just one, but TWO realtors in my life.  A local realtor who is going to do her best to make our short-but-almost-standard-sale in So Cal a success. And a realtor in Oregon who is stalking houses for us to buy. This poor woman. The home market in our price range is hopping, and here we are, 700 miles away and trying to play. Already, three homes have sold out from under us in less than a day.

What can you do when you’re this far away?

I didn’t know sellers would be so infuriatingly patient that even when it is clear to the whole wide world that their house ain’t gonna sell for that amount, they will not entertain a lower offer.

I didn’t know that we would find the perfect five bedroom home and enter into escrow.  Only to have my neighbor, her hand clearly guided by the Blessed Mother, discover on page 3 of Google that the home had previously belonged to a sexual psychopath, with family still living in the area and a clear history of breaking his parole.

We walked, not just for the bad mojo, but for the fear that one day that guy would knock on the door for kicks and giggles, and there would be one of my daughters.

Oh. Hell. No.

(Buyer beware: The listing agent knew. It is not legally required for anyone to disclose that a sex offender used to live in a home. The Megan’s Law websites can only tell where offenders currently live.)

And then this house popped up:

saginaw

I know. I wanted this house, so badly that I flew to Oregon on a whim to see it. And it was everything it promised to be except for one small problem: sloped ceilings. I guess folks were shorter in the 1940s.

Still, I found a lovely architect who could fix it for us if we were willing to live with it for a few years first. He was on vacation, then we were and when we came back, the house had sold.

That was when we started praying every night for “God to send us our house”.

Just pick a house, you say? It’s not that easy. One morning, over coffee and the morning Zillow report, I found a lovely contender. Great neighborhood, good lot size, enough bedrooms. Then I scrolled through the pictures and saw this:

Amblegreen 1

Do you see that thing on the stairs? It’s not a shadow. It’s an absence of light, like the light has been sucked in or forced away. Now look carefully at the TV in this picture:

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You see that???

I sent these pictures to Dana and Lesley, who called me a chicken for not wanting to live with a spirit. She’s right. I‘ve done ghost in the house and don’t need to do it again.

I’m sure the owners are wondering why their beautiful home—now priced below market value—is not selling.

I kind of want to tell them.

Today, we fly to Oregon to make a decision. We have a Top 12 list of homes we like. We are going to spend a fast 96 hours dragging the kids from house to house until we find it.

Please pray for us. Because the fatigue is setting in, and the worry about how I will fill my days after we find the right place, and if there is such a thing as Realtor.com Anonymous, because I may need it.

House-hunting: it’s not for the faint of heart.

 

 

 

Roasting

I hate the summers Inland California. Hate is a strong word, I know, but I mean it with every fiber of my being. Sometime in early June, the thermometer hits 97 and it doesn’t dip below that number for the next four months. In other places, summer lasts 75-90 days. Here: 120.

Our summer is like winter in Wisconsin or Maine. The kids cannot go outside for days at a time. We usually have at least one round of over 100 degree temps that lasts for more than 14 days. California homes are not built for this. We have no basements and I was dumb enough to make Shea buy the house without a loft. “Why on earth would we need that open empty space?” I asked him.

Short. Sighted.

Don’t even get me started on the Edison bill. Tier 5? Tier 5 is a common occurrence during July and August. At dusk, when it’s cooled down to 90 and we turn the kids loose in the streets, the moms huddle up and compare bills. We have a house fan, which helps us keep our July and August bills under $400. My neighbors either pay upwards of $600 a month or set the thermostat at 82.

The winters usually calm me down, with a few weeks of frosty, heater required weather in December and January. Not this year. This year it never got cold. Which I think explains why, for the first time since we moved here, we are seeing mosquitos and fleas. And ants. The ants are everywhere, assaulting us from the front door and the garage and up from the slab through the middle of the house and back down the staircase.

Blech.

It was 89 degrees on Halloween, 85 degrees on Thanksgiving and 80 degrees on Christmas. We got a grand total of 4.9 inches of rain. Our average is 7.6 inches. We haven’t hit the average since 2010.

It’s enough to make me want to throw my shoe at any fool who still insists that climate change is a liberal media myth.

Did I mention that I hate to be hot? More than anything? It’s why we got married at the end of November. It’s why we’re moving to Oregon. I picked the town based on the average high temps in July (89) and December (45). That’s blissful compared to the average temps here in July (100, with some days at the end of the month averaging 103) and December (69).

We’re going up there next week to look for a house. Of course, they’re having a heat wave and the temps are going to be in the 100s all week.

Sigh.

To fend off Summer Seasonal Affective Disorder, I count it down.

From July 1 to October 1 is the 90 days of summer, of which we have 79 left.

School starts in 38 days.

Halloween is in 111 days.

Our projected moving date is in 119 days.

Thanksgiving—which this year falls on our tenth wedding anniversary—is in 138 days.

And attention shoppers, there are only 166 days left until Christmas.

Yeah, I went there.

I’m telling you, it’s the only way to stay sane when it’s 103 at noon.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Mother of Exiles

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We live in the town over from Murrieta, CA.

Murrieta hit the world news this week due to a group of 100 protesters who stopped a bus full of women and children who crossed the border illegally into Texas. Texas can no longer hold them, so officials are putting them on planes and flying them to Southern California to process them through the local border patrol station.

A small group of Americans met them on the road to the station and physically stopped the busses from going anywhere except back to the border. Busses full of small, scared children and their mothers, who fled here to escape the poverty and violence of their homes.

The protesters were within their legal rights. The right to peaceful assembly is a value upon which this nation was founded.

They weren’t standing on moral ground, though.

Illegal immigration is a problem in this country. It’s a huge strain on the infrastructure. It’s true that taxpayer money goes to support people who have come to this country illegally. On this, we can all agree. There’s a simple solution, which is to make the pathway to citizenship easier and less costly, to reward those who graduate college and serve this country in uniform.

Driven by intense fear, lots of people don’t want this. I don’t understand the fear, because no one is taking food off my table, clothes off my back, or my kids’ place in school.

But it’s a huge national issue and it needs to be handled.

On Tuesday, it was not about the national conversation. It had moved past rhetoric and ideals and projections to a bus full of real live, hurting, hungry people.

In this part of California, we are overwhelmingly Christian, so when a group of people matching word for word the folks in the Beatitudes show up in our community, looking forward to a dinner of frozen burritos and a night sleeping on the bathroom floor, shouldn’t we find compassion in our hearts?

Shouldn’t we walk our Sunday morning talk?

Even if we don’t believe that they belong here, even if we think it’s high time the fools in Washington sorted this out.

When faced with the downtrodden, the humbled, the homeless right in front of us, Jesus commands us to put frustration and fear aside and help.

I’m sad that in a nation founded by immigrants under God, our fear of the “other” overcomes our responsibility to our faith. I’m sad that happened in my own community, where now we have to heal the breach of trust that has opened.

I’m also angry at how quickly we forget our history lessons and since I used to teach this stuff, here’s a refresher:

When John Smith and Company hit the beach in Virginia in 1607, they never intended to settle. They intended to get rich, and kill anyone who stood in their way, which is why we don’t use Jamestown as our shining example of courage and freedom.

The Puritans who came in 1620—history refers to them as Pilgrims—fled England due to religious persecution. They first lived in Holland, but then obtained a land permit from the London Virginia Company to settle at the mouth of the Hudson River. They hired two merchant ships to bring them across the ocean, one of which had to be abandoned after it was found to be unseaworthy. In desperation, 102 Pilgrims, plus the crew, crowded onto the 100 foot long Mayflower, which departed in July.

They missed the Hudson River, by hundreds of miles. When they finally stepped foot onto modern day Massachusetts, it was December of a horrible winter. By Spring, half of them had died and only four adult women had survived. Four, of seventeen. The ship’s captain was a mercenary and wanted as little loss as possible—he kicked the Puritans off the ship before they had adequate shelter to protect his crew from sickness.

The Natives were wary, since they had some history with Europeans, mostly involving theft, violence and disease. There were tense moments between the Pilgrims and the Natives, but eventually they agreed to a peace treaty and the Natives helped the Pilgrims with their farming and food.

The Pilgrims were a lot like those people on the busses the other day.

They were fleeing violence and persecution, in search of a safer life.

They were brought here by a mercenary who took their money and offered them very little in return, dropping them at the shore hundreds of miles off target in the dead middle of a New England winter.

They were sick and hungry, posing a strong threat to the health of the Natives.

In order to survive, they needed some compassion to get started.

Here’s where the stories divert. In 1620, against their better judgment, the Natives helped the Pilgrims.

And that was such a big freaking deal that we remember it on Thanksgiving.

It’s true that Europeans went on to make the Natives rue the day they didn’t kill the Pilgrims as they came ashore.

It’s also true that those Europeans forged the greatest nation on earth, from blood sweat and tears—sometimes theirs, sometimes those of the “other”. We have a checkered history for sure, but it’s magnificent all the same.

I am proud to be an American on most days.

Just not on days when we forget our own humble beginnings, or days when we forsake the “under God” part of our pledge of allegiance, or days when our fear of what cannot be articulated drives our actions, hypocritical or no.

Days like Tuesday.

Happy Birthday, USA. Here’s to a better tomorrow for the Shining City on the Hill, one that lives up to the lofty and admirable ideals inscribed on our own Statue of Liberty:

The New Colossus

Not like the brazen giant of Greek fame,

With conquering limbs astride from land to land;

Here at our sea-washed, sunset gates shall stand

A mighty woman with a torch, whose flame

Is the imprisoned lightning, and her name

Mother of Exiles. From her beacon-hand

Glows world-wide welcome; her mild eyes command

The air-bridged harbor that twin cities frame.

“Keep ancient lands, your storied pomp!” cries she

With silent lips. “Give me your tired, your poor,

Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,

The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.

Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me,

I lift my lamp beside the golden door!”

Emma Lazarus, 1883

 

No Turtles

This right here? This is good stuff: “Are we raising a generation of helpless kids?”

 “We made our kid’s happiness a central goal – and now it’s difficult for them to generate happiness — the by-product of living a meaningful life.”

Timely, since here I am at home for the summer with my 8 year old,  6 year old and  2 year old who still needs a nap. They do not play well with each for more than 20 minutes. And sometimes by play well, I’m only talking about agreeing on the same TV show.

They’re bored, they’re hungry, they’re mean to each other and the next thing we know, mama is a screaming harpy and everyone’s been grounded til they’re twelve.

I guess I could take control of every minute of their day and schedule them into exhausted silence. It’s tempting. I know lots of moms who do.

But then I remember my “No Turtles” rule.

We started it when Gabe was about three and he’d pseudo try to do something, such as put his shirt on himself, and then he’d flop like Arjen Robben and wail “I can’t do it!!!”

I used to tell him “Don’t act like a turtle on your back, arms and legs kicking in the air! Figure it out.” This evolved into our “No Turtle” rule.

So if I hijack summer, my days might be more peaceful, but the long term result will be a household full of turtles. “Mom, I’m bored! Mom, we never do anything! Mom, I wish we could go to Disneyland! We never have any fun!”

No thank you.

Dearest children of mine,

This summer, the management will no longer be providing Perfect Days. There will be many, many opportunities for fun and games, but very few of them will be directed by Mom.

We went to the library, so there are books to read.

We went to the teacher supply store, so there are workbooks and science experiments.

We’ll keep up our tradition of the weekly trip to the mall, because Mama loves her some mall. We’ll hit the waterpark once or twice. I’ll set up play dates upon request. Maybe a trip or two to the beach. VBS, for sure.

And there are 12 kids in a five house radius. Everyone can learn a new game, like “tag” or “hide and go seek”. After a long day playing outside, I could probably be talked into making ice cream for the lot of you.

I know this is different, but we have no choice.  If we continue to take responsibility for your happiness, where does it stop? I met a lady last week who is planning her son’s honeymoon—not just paying for it, planning it down to the daily excursions and nightly dinners.

Can you imagine getting a text from your mom on your honeymoon: “Have you guys gotten dressed for dinner yet? If you’re running behind, let me know and I’ll call the restaurant”.

Someday you’ll thank me.

In the meantime, remember the new house rule: If anyone says “I’m bored” or “There’s nothing to do”, I automatically get to pick a new activity. My current favorites are “Put the laundry away”, “Pack a box” and “Vacuum”.

Happy Summer!

Love, Mom

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