Threats of Sexual Violence Should Not Be a Marketing Strategy ~ Jen

We don’t usually post on the weekends. But this is a huge issue for both of us. We prayed over it and felt directed to write this and publish it today.

There’s a shocking and crass commercial from the “non-partisan” but funded by the Koch brothers group Generation Opportunity, aimed at discouraging young adults from signing up for insurance under the Affordable Care Act.

It shows a young woman getting her first pap smear under “Obamacare”. While she is in the stirrups, the doctor leaves. A giant Uncle Sam rises from the corner and steps between her legs as the door slowly and ominously closes.

Yep, it’s a rape commercial.

I am not going to address this from a political perspective, because that’s been done. I want to speak to it as a Christian woman. Not the least because most of the employees listed on the website over at Generation Opportunity attended Christian colleges.

I’m going to assume that we all know our Bible, and that I don’t have to quote scripture here to make my points.

Our bodies, made in God’s image, are sacred space. If we are Christians, then that is the end of the story for us. It is never ok to exploit this sacred space, or make sport of violence against it. It is bad enough that sexual violence is so prevalent in our nation. But to use the threat of sexual violence as a tool of fear—to support a falsehood, by the way—is surely sin.

The commercial is clever, with its lilting circus music, designed to take the edge off. But darkness is often packaged in clever and distracting ways. And that’s what this commercial is—darkness. Generation Opportunity, and its sponsors, Americans For Freedom, are hosting darkness.

No matter how you feel about the Affordable Care Act, this cannot be acceptable to you. Not if we hope to have a loving, respectful kingdom of God here on earth. God-loving folk are the care-takers of this kingdom. We have a responsibility to protect it and its law, which is love.

The bible tells us “Let us pursue what makes for peace and for mutual upbuilding” (Romans 14:19). There is a way to have this argument, respectfully and peacefully. There is a way to bring light to the questions, instead of darkness. There is a way to reach an uplifting solution that respects the sacred space of everyone, as Jesus calls us to do.

But if we insist on treating universal health care as a game, with winners and losers, then let’s remember: women’s bodies are not the playing field; sexual violence is not the tool; win at all cost is not the goal.

There is only one rule: “A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another” (John 13: 34-35).

I am including the link to the commercial here, with reservations. I don’t want to promote it, but I want you to know that it’s out there. If you have been a victim of sexual violence, you may want to skip it.

I am also providing the link to the Contact Page at Generation Opportunity, in case you feel so moved to let them know how you feel.

The Commercial: www.youtube.com

Contact Generation Opportunity: http://generationopportunity.org

Receiving Mode ~ Jen

Shea and I have a big decision to make. For three weeks we have been talking it around and around, with no success. Finally, at 11 pm the other night, when we had covered all the options and their pros and cons for the third time without coming to any kind of clarity, I told him that I couldn’t go in circles anymore.

“I know” he said. “We have to pray.”

I took a moment to bask in the warmth of that.

But then I reminded him it took me a year to hear the answer about having another baby. And that was all my fault. I wasn’t in receiving mode. I was praying, but not listening. I let all my own thoughts and worries fill my head and heart and drown out everything else. Finally, I got bored of myself, and stopped. And into that quiet space came my answer.

“So we have to go into receiving mode” I told him. “We can’t talk about it. We can’t think about it. Not chew on it. Not worry about it. Trust that the answer will come.”

Shea thought for a moment and then said “I like that analogy. Just wait for God to throw the bomb.”

I stared at him. What?

Then I started to laugh.

Because when I think receiving mode, I see this in my head:

And when he thinks receiving mode, he sees this in his head:

I know that God will meet us where we are, but I hope he has a spaceship. Because it’s roughly 75,000,000 miles from Venus to Mars.

Mary Meets Jesus~ Jen

It’s Holy Week. So I’m going to be repentant and reflective one more time. And then, with the Easter season, we will embrace the warmth and light and love of Spring.

When I first saw The Passion, it was on DVD. There was no way I was facing that thing down on a large screen. I knew it would hurt me, and it did. Not when they flog Jesus. Not when they nail Him to the Cross.

When Mary meets Jesus.

She’s following her Son, but not where He can see her. She’s hiding. She knows she has to witness her Son’s pain. But she’s terrified.

She leans against a wall, agonized. He’s coming, she can hear the crowd, and if she doesn’t turn now, He won’t see her. Then He falls. And in her memories, she sees Him fall as a baby. As she did when He was young, she runs to Him and says “I am here”.

Watch it here.

Jesus’ suffering was immense, and purchased my salvation. He is my Lord and Savior.

But I relate to the women of the Passion: suffering Mary, brave Veronica, and the weeping women of Jerusalem. Now that I have children, Mary’s story is personal. She was obedient, but God asked so much of her and her faith never waivered.

How did she survive it?

My journey this Lent has been to let go—of the paralyzing fear that feeds my need to control and steals my joy.

And Mary’s story, the loss of a child, is the thing I fear the most. The Worst Thing.

I found a story a few months ago, when Glennon from Momastery posted it on her Facebook page. I think that reading this story was the first step on my Lenten path. I believe that examples of Mary walk among us. And I believe this is how we survive the Worst Thing:

Nelba Marquez-Greene’s daughter, Ana, died at Sandy Hook Elementary on December 14.

On January 14, Ana’s parents gave an interview to Good Morning America. You can see it here. It’s rough. Nelba’s pain is fresh, her face is worn.

Afterwards, through a mountain of love and support, some folks also called her motivations into question.

Nelba responded on Facebook:

I wept when I read some of the comments after our interviews. Most were beautiful. Some suggested we were actors. Oh how I wish that to be so. It was purely by God’s grace we had the strength to stand yesterday and everyday since December 14th. One comment read, “So fake. These people are actors. What 6 year old loves God”? Well I’m here to let you know that our six year old loved God! So DOES my eight year old. So do I. So does my husband…For me, love is not about what others choose to feel or act or say. It’s about what I choose to feel or act or say. I choose love.

Then she said this:

Evil visited Newtown. Now it’s our choice to respond. We choose good. We choose life. We choose hope. We choose that even though we’re sad and we weren’t perfect parents we got one thing right- we invested in eternal things.

Eternal things. An Ultimate Plan. A Life after Death.

Jesus died on that cross to save us. It was horrible and painful and bloody. But it was also Glorious and Loving and Amazing. God’s love wins.

That’s what Mary knew. That’s how she survived the Worst Thing. That’s what Nelba knows. That’s how she’s surviving the Worst Thing.

On Sunday morning, we celebrate the victory. No more fear. God’s love wins.

https://www.facebook.com/RememberingAna

The Committee ~ Jen

My cousin Lesley had just gone through some mess in her life, held up by all her friends. She was feeling the love, how we all surrounded her and made this trial easier to bear. She said “Everyone helped me in different ways. Like each friend has their own special gift that they bring.”

So true.

Every good friend in our lives has her reason and purpose for being there. God puts the very people in our path that we need. I call them my Committee. They have special gifts: The listener, the counselor, the mentor, the cheerleader, the historian.

We are good, strong women. We have our issues, but truth is our core value. We love each other in spite of and through our flaws. We make each other solid and reflect back love. That makes it easier for us to go out in the world and love others.

Only girlfriends need apply for these jobs. The men in our lives keep us accountable and happy for sure, but they are from Mars. My husband is not going to answer the email I send him from Macy’s that says “Shea, Jennifer thought you might like these boots!” He does not want to discuss The Real Housewives of New Jersey. He wants to pretend that shows like that don’t exist. But The Committee loves to reflect and learn from other women’s foibles. Preferably over lunch and Margaritas.

It’s not important why women need this. We just do. It makes us better women, to feel connected and solid.

My 20 year old niece is having a hard experience. Some girls who she thought were her people are turning out to be transparent—maybe someday, they will solidify into honest, trustworthy, happy women, but right now they are not. And she feels bewildered, because she believed them. Even though she’s 20, she’s pretty solid herself. She is part of my Committee, for sure. Every Committee needs a youthful perspective.

She made a big investment with these girls. She was all in, which is her sweet way. They know things because she trusted them. Now she wonders if those things will be used like weapons against her.

I worry that if they wound her, she will learn the wrong lessons, that no one is trustworthy and that she has to protect herself from others to stay safe.

So here’s what I told her:

A true friend holds you up, prays for you, pushes you to be your best version. She demonstrates her love and loyalty over and over until you would be crazy to question her. She holds your hand and tells you the hard truths, in your life and in hers. She makes room for you, and respects your boundaries. She asks nothing and everything, all at once. You never ever have to wonder if you are getting more than you give.

She loves you into solidity—in your heart, in your mind, in your soul.

There will always be transparent girls in your life. Some of these girls will grow into solid women eventually. You will learn the difference. What is important is that you keep searching until you find your women and gather them around you.

It’s powerful and necessary, this type of friendship. We should never turn our backs on it. It is a special gift from God.

Today I am thankful for the amazing women God has placed in my life.

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this: