Shea and I have a big decision to make. For three weeks we have been talking it around and around, with no success. Finally, at 11 pm the other night, when we had covered all the options and their pros and cons for the third time without coming to any kind of clarity, I told him that I couldn’t go in circles anymore.
“I know” he said. “We have to pray.”
I took a moment to bask in the warmth of that.
But then I reminded him it took me a year to hear the answer about having another baby. And that was all my fault. I wasn’t in receiving mode. I was praying, but not listening. I let all my own thoughts and worries fill my head and heart and drown out everything else. Finally, I got bored of myself, and stopped. And into that quiet space came my answer.
“So we have to go into receiving mode” I told him. “We can’t talk about it. We can’t think about it. Not chew on it. Not worry about it. Trust that the answer will come.”
Shea thought for a moment and then said “I like that analogy. Just wait for God to throw the bomb.”
I stared at him. What?
Then I started to laugh.
Because when I think receiving mode, I see this in my head:
And when he thinks receiving mode, he sees this in his head: