Six weeks ago, I rolled into Albertson’s before gym class with Annie in tow and bought a $9 plastic gallon of vodka.
The lady at the check-out processed my purchase in silence, but her eyebrows disappeared into her hairline. The girl bagging held the bottle up, shook her head and cut a look at the bagger in the next lane.
It was 8:45 am on a Tuesday. I was wearing sweats, my hair was in a bun and Annie had picked her own clothes, orange striped stretch pants and a puke green shirt that used to belong to Gabe.
I cleared my throat.
I feel like I have to explain why I am buying a gallon of vodka this early in the morning.
I expected them to laugh, but the idle checker in the next lane actually leaned across and said “Yes.”
Well, we make a lot of our household cleaners, to be safer and less toxic. We also have two dogs, so I’ve been looking for a fabric refresher that doesn’t have a ton of chemicals and fragrances, like Febreeze. I found this recipe online for Febooz. All it takes is a spray bottle, two cups of water, a cup of vodka and some drops of essential oil. Safe for all fabrics, carpets, clothes. And for kids and dogs, as long as they’re not drinking it.
They looked at each other. Then they started laughing.
“A few sprays for the couch, a few sprays for mama!”
“And if it doesn’t work, just pop off the top, have a few drinks and you won’t care what the couch smells like!”
The things we go through to bring you safe cleaning products.
Febooz
All you need is a clean clearly labeled spray bottle, 2 cups of water (the original recipe calls for distilled. I don’t know why, but I used tap and it was fine), 1 cup of vodka and some drops of essential oil. Shake and spray.
Courtesy of www.yellowbrickhome.com
PS: have your husband buy the vodka. No one will bat an eye at a man buying bulk vodka in a plastic bottle. Even if he has all the kids with him and it’s 1 am. But that’s a whole other post.
Full Of Graces 
The name is the best part.
I knew you would like it. I wish I had made it up!
You’re absolutely right about the man buying the vodka. Doesn’t whatever you clean smell like booze, though?
Nope. Vodka doesn’t really smell and the essential oil provides the scent. Thanks!
Great post! Laughing out loud.
I knew you would have to explain — a man wouldn’t…:-)
And you know I didn’t think a thing about it until I put the bottle on the belt and the temperature around me dropped 10 degrees. I was just trying to check off an errand before gym!
I just bought a cheep bottle today, no kid in tow and in jeans and still felt the need to explain when the clerk raised an eyebrow at the brand I grabbed. Honestly not for drinking I told him!