For You and For Pam and For Me ~ Jen

Dana’s dad, Allen Builteman, passed away on Saturday, May 11, 2013.

Dana might tell the story someday. It’s beautiful. He died peacefully surrounded by the ones who loved him most.

Dana and I had big plans for Mother’s Day on this blog. We have amazing moms. We were going to talk about them.

But then Allen got so sick. And my mom, God bless her, said “Spend the day with your family. We’ll celebrate my Mother’s Day another day”. So I am not going to talk about my mom, Terri, or Dana’s mom, Pam. This week has brought us a little too close to the sacred space of parents, and there just aren’t good or adequate words for us right now. I’ll ask you to pray for them, though. Especially Pam.

When I talked to Dana yesterday morning, she said to me “Have a happy Mother’s Day for me.”

Ok, I thought. I will, dammit. For you and for Pam and for me.

So we went here.


This is Coronado, Ca, one of my favorite beaches in the world. It’s worthless during the month of June and half of July because of gloom. But May can be beautiful.


And this is the world famous Hotel Del Coronado. The Del is over 100 years old and one of the largest all-wooden buildings in California.  The lobby is unbelievable. And yes, it is haunted.


The water was Hawaii clear. This is not normal for California. And my legs are not that white. It’s the Instagram.


It never fails that every time we go, Kate will scream “MOM! GOLD!!!” I don’t know what that is in the sand and I am too tired to look it up. But it’s cool.

Lastly, there’s this. I think the Del owns the beach in front of the hotel and they oh-so-nicely put a bar right on the boardwalk. So we got these. Seemed right.


For Allen. For Dana and for Pam and for me. For Terri. For all moms. For all dads. For that sacred space that is our parents. For the love of God.

And for beautiful days at the beach.

4 thoughts on “For You and For Pam and For Me ~ Jen

  1. Jen, this is beautiful!! Dana, Pam and Terri are very blessed to have you as a friend and daughter!!!

  2. It is sad to say goodbye to a loved one. Yet to see one suffer is so painful. God needed Alan and to have the confidence of seeing him again should bring a smile. To you Pam I am so sorry. You both fought the good fight and the strength God gave you is simply amazing. Love Joan

  3. Jen, thank you for such a wonderful story! I’m sure Dana has told you about the special place “The Del” has in our hearts! So many fun days were spent there in the past. Even though Allen wasn’t a “beach” person, he loved Hotel Del Coronado. Thank you for the pictures and for sharing your experience there with us. Love you so much! – Pam

    1. Pam…Dana told me the stories yesterday! I couldn’t believe it. We had SUCH a beautiful day, I just know Allen asked God to give us that day so I could write this for you and Dana. Love is powerful.

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